William F. Doverspike, Ph.D.
drwilliamdoverspike.com
770-913-0506

In the words of the nineteenth century philosopher John Stuart Mill, "Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so." Mill’s observation highlights one of the paradoxes of happiness: In the pursuit of happiness, we cannot find it by looking for it. Rather than being found, happiness is something that must be created. From the sacred texts of antiquity to the journals of modern science, there are several common themes that have been identified as ways to create more happiness and greater satisfaction in life.

Practice positive thinking. Historically, the importance of attitude was recognized even in ancient times. The Greek philosopher Epictetus observed, "Men are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them." In the play Hamlet, Shakespeare (c. 1602) made a similar observation when he wrote, "There’s nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." In modern times, contemporary cognitive theorists have focused on cognitive appraisals of situational events as important determinants of emotional experience. Dr. Aaron Beck (1976), the founder of cognitive therapy, emphasized cognitive appraisals as primary determinants of emotional disorders such as depression. In other words, change your thinking and you change your feelings. From a cognitive perspective, we can learn to make choices regarding thoughts that can contribute to positive feelings, constructive attitudes, and a realistic sense of hope regarding the future. In the words of Norman Vincent Peale, "Change your thoughts and you change your world."

Change what can be changed. Is there a best way to create happiness? According to psychologist Mihály Csikszentmihályi (1990) one of the pioneers in the field of positive psychology, "My studies of the past quarter century have convinced me that there is a way. It is a circuitous path that begins with achieving control over the contents of our consciousness" (p. 2). Psychological research reveals that people who have a high sense of internal control in their lives report higher levels of happiness than people who have a low sense of control. In other words, we are more likely to be happy when we shift the focus of our attention away from things we cannot control (e.g., things that happened in the past or the behavior of other people) and focus more on the things that we can control (e.g., changing our own behavior in a way that is likely to improve a difficult situation). The most difficult task involves developing the wisdom to know the difference between the things we can control and the things we cannot control. According to Csikszentmihályi (1990, p. 2), "People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy."

Use problems as progress. One’s attitude defines the difference between problems and progress. In some ways, one’s progress is often reflected in the quality of one’s problems. When encouraged to do so, people who look back on their lives can always describe events of past difficulties that helped them learn and grow. Using this knowledge, people can learn to view their current difficulties as opportunities for learning and growth. Just as last year’s misfortunes can lead to this year’s unexpected gains, today’s crisis can lead to tomorrow’s opportunity. Resilience refers to one’s positive capacity to cope with crisis and even catastrophe. As an expert in the field of resilience has observed, "The conclusion I have reached is that what distinguishes those who are highly successful from others is, in large part, resilience in the face of humiliations, defeats, and setbacks of various kinds. Without resilience, we risk watching the world go by instead of actively participating in it" (Sternberg, 2006, p. 26). To develop resilience, remember the old adage, "The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how we use them."

Keep a gratitude journal. Empirical studies have shown that those who keep gratitude journals feel better about their lives. Compared to a control group of participants who recorded hassles or neutral life events, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). Compared to the weekly intervention, a daily gratitude intervention resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness, and energy compared to a focus on daily hassles or downward social comparisons (ways in which participants thought they were better off than others). Compared to participants who were instructed to focus on daily hassles or social comparisons, those who used the daily gratitude intervention were more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem or having offered emotional support to another person (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

Savor the small pleasures. Psychological research has shown that happiness is more strongly correlated with the frequency of satisfying events rather than with the intensity of satisfying events (Gilbert, 2007). In other words, enjoying a lot of small, simple pleasures is better than winning the lottery. In fact, surveys of lottery winners reveal that people who win the lottery tend to have a brief burst of happiness for an average of three months before returning to the baseline of happiness they experienced before winning (Myers & Diener, 2006). In learning to experience satisfying events, it is important to develop mindfulness, which refers to being purposefully aware of the present moment. Mindfulness refers to an awareness of what one is experiencing and one’s response to that experience in the present. Without mindfulness, the satisfaction of the event itself is not really experienced. For example, in contrast to the compulsive drinker, who experiences little satisfaction and great misery, think of the wine connoisseur who experiences great satisfaction when feeling the shape of a crystal glass, observing the color of the wine, and savoring the bouquet of a wine before it is even tasted. Although few can be connoisseurs of wine, anyone can learn to be a connoisseur of life. For example, when crunching into an apple, anyone can learn to pay precise yet relaxed attention to the sweet scent, the glossy red skin, and the burst of flavor.

Lose yourself in an activity. In contrast to savoring the experience of a single moment, one of the paradoxes of happiness is the idea of losing oneself in the moment. In the field of positive psychology, the term flow has been used to refer to a mental state in which a person is immersed in what he or she is doing by a feeling of intense focus. The concept of flow has little to do with the New Age slogan of "going with the flow." Instead, flow can be defined by eight characteristics (Csikszentmihályi, 1990, 1999). First, flow involves an intrinsically rewarding activity that is challenging--neither too easy nor too difficult. Second, the person experiencing flow becomes part of the activity rather than standing outside of it. Flow involves the pursuit of a specific goal (third) that depends on immediate feedback (fourth). Flow requires a high degree of focus and concentration (fifth). Sixth, flow involves a sense of control without striving for control, which Csikszentmihályi describes as the paradox of control. Seventh, flow results in a loss of the feeling of self-consciousness and a disappearance of a sense of self. Finally, one’s sense of time is altered, so that there is essentially a loss of a sense of time during the activity (Csikszentmihályi, 1990). In other words, if you are so absorbed in an activity that you forget to look at your watch, you may be experiencing flow.

Get out of yourself and get into others. One activity that has been consistently shown to contribute to life satisfaction involves a meaningful activity with another person or group. The degree to which a person is engaged in society is positively correlated with measures of happiness, optimism, life satisfaction, and a sense of safety in one’s environment (Keyes, 1998; Keyes & Lopez, 2002). As social psychologist David Myers has observed, "There are few stronger predictors of happiness than a close, nurturing, equitable, intimate, lifelong companionship with one’s best friend" (Myers, 2000, p. 43). In other words, people often benefit from spending less time at the office and more time with the ones they love.

Give yourself to others. Psychological research has shown that people who are happy are also altruistic, and people who are altruistic are also happier than others. People often benefit from focusing away from thinking about their own problems to focusing toward helping with the problems of others. There is a strong correlation between the well-being, happiness, health, and longevity of people who are emotionally and behaviorally compassionate (Posta, 2005). Giving oneself to others can range from a single act of kindness toward a another person to multiple acts of volunteering time to a larger cause.

Find a sense of meaning. In Man’s Search for Meaning, expanded from its original title, From Death-Camp To Existentialism, Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl wrote, "Suffering ceases to be suffering in some way in the moment that it finds a meaning" (1969, p. 179). Frankl’s understanding of suffering was forged out of his survival of three years in four different Nazi concentration camps. In living to reconstruct his lifetime achievement, which had once been a crumpled manuscript destroyed on a floor in Auschwitz, Frankl completed a book which eventually sold more than 9 million copies in 23 different languages. In an interview shortly before his death at the age of 92, Frankl noted that he was still receiving an average of 23 letters each day, mostly from those thanking him for writing a book that changed their lives ("Frankl dies", 1997). Half a century after Frankl had written his monumental book, researchers in the field of positive psychology observed that people who are happy tend to have a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives. A sense of meaning can be found in living one’s values, practicing a spiritual discipline, and giving oneself to a high purpose in life. It is no wonder that religion and spirituality play a major part in the satisfaction and happiness of so many lives. In fact, the correlation between faith and well-being has been seen both in surveys taken of the general public and in empirical research on specific population groups. For example, a recent Gallup poll of Americans found that people with high religious involvement are twice as likely as those without to say that they are "very happy." Similarly, a review of the scientific literature reveals that religiousness is one of the best predictors of life satisfaction (Myers, 2000; Myers & Diener, 1996; Myers & Diener, 2006).

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